Loving Unbelievers

Let me ask you a question: do you love unbelievers? I mean, when you speak with them, do you have a deep sense of compassion for their souls, remembering that you were once one? I realize that they are dishonoring God with their lives. Yes, we should be zealous for God's glory, but how does that come across in your interactions with people outside the faith?

Do you look down on them? Is there a sense of superiority that you understand the doctrines of grace and they don't have a clue? Have you forgotten that you are in their shoes apart from God's kindness to you in Christ?

What did it take for you to believe...someone who didn't really care and just shared the gospel out of duty or a warped sense of making God happy by dropping the message on you, or was it a real friend who shared your struggles and remained gentle and open to you, even after you rejected his initial attempts at proclaiming the good news to your heart?

I think the latter gets closer to the heart of what it really means to love.

January = August?

January feels like August in many ways. The stress of starting new concepts in every subject. The difficulty of getting kids to behave and follow directions. The lack of motivation to grade papers and plan lessons. That being said, it has been a tough month.

I still battle sin each day. Teaching, I'm realizing, is just one of those professions where your heart is exposed over and over through trying situations. I trust God is using these to sanctify me, but my progress seems slow.

Thankfully, God does not accept me on the basis of my level of spiritual maturity. In fact, he does not even accept me because I want to change (because I do not even want that for the right reasons sometimes). I am accepted on the basis of Christ's finished work on the cross. He alone makes me acceptable to God by having bore the wrath I deserve to endure and by having provided the righteousness (or perfect obedience) that I am required to have.

And then comes Christmas...

Well, so much for writing about my experiences and keeping this blog updated once a month. It seems that without having the internet at home and with having blogs blocked at school, my motivation for regularly processing what has been happening has diminished significantly. This is sad, mainly because I think it is important and healthy for me to put on paper (or a computer screen) the thoughts in my head to keep them from remaining a bunch of jumbled ideas. The real question, however, is whether the organizing of these thoughts is worth anyone else's time or attention. That I have yet to discover. Perhaps I would have by now had I kept this thing current, but I have said enough about that already. Better luck next year, I guess.

Welcome to 4th Grade!

I said I would post once a month beginning in August, and here I am on the last Saturday of the month scrambling to get this done. The first two and one half weeks have been overwhelming to say the least. I did not realize teaching was so much work. Everyone told me that the first year of teaching is tough, but this is almost too much. On Wednesday of this week I actually hit a breaking point, but thankfully God put people in my life to keep me going just like he always does.

I called my mom that night to talk things over, and she just reminded me to stay positive and focus on what is going well. I often neglect to praise my students or give them rewards because I feel that they are not deserving; however, I must remember that neither am I of God's grace.

On Thursday someone from the district office came in to observe my students and really just reaffirmed me in my teaching abilities. I know that when Moses questioned God about sending him to speak with Pharaoh on his behalf, God did not tell Moses that he was adequate but rather said that he would be with him, but it is also important to be doing things that we are gifted at. So when she said that she could see natural teacher instincts in me and that my students really needed me, that made a world of difference in my outlook. It is one thing for someone to say that you will be fine and that you are a good teacher, but to have someone actually experience your teaching and still say those things, that is quite another.

The First Days of School

I have been meaning to write here for a while now, and tonight seems just as good a time as any. The last couple weeks in particular things have really picked up as far as getting ready for the students to come. I have met with one of my mentors several times to work on my classroom and go over some of the curriculum. I have also been through three days of professional development training for new teachers. Two of those days consisted of learning the Boys Town model for classroom management. They really focus on proactively teaching positive behaviors, which really goes well with Harry Wong's emphasis in his book on practicing procedures from the beginning. Today was a literacy strategies class in which we looked at the Six Traits of Writing, a program called Step Up to Writing, and a couple workshops on personal narratives and reading comprehension strategies. Overall, I feel thoroughly overwhelmed at the thought of 27 nine-year-olds entering my door on August 12. However, I know that the Lord will be with me.

God loves me!

He loves me, even though I do not glorify him as I ought. He loves me, even though I desire other things more than him so much of the time. He loves me, even when I disobey his commands and forget his promises and trample his name in the dirt because of my sin. He loves me.

And the reason he loves me is because he loves me. Crazy, isn't it?

Read Deuteronomy 7:6-8. There you will see this clearly. It is one of the most amazing passages in the Bible to me. God says that he chose Israel and set his love on them, not because they were more in number than any other people, for they were the fewest of all peoples, but because the Lord loves them. Incredible!

So, no matter what I do, God loves me. And I love him in response (1 John 4). It is so simple yet so profound. I am just beginning to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ (Ephesians 3:18), and nothing can separate us from it (Romans 8:28-39)!

And this love, rather than excusing my sin, motivates me to love God in return and pour myself out in love for others (1 John 4 again).

Lift Up Jesus

I heard two messages this weekend that had great potential but were very disappointing in that they could have pointed to our Savior and the cross but instead directed the attention at us.

The first was at baccalaureate Friday night. The message was on Isaiah 42:1-9, which is clearly talking about Christ, but the speaker instead turned the passage on its head and made it about the graduating class of 2009. This was disappointing because while Jesus can offer hope for the future, we cannot. Sure, we can act as God's servants by his grace, but without the assurance of knowing what he has already done and promised to do, our efforts will be weak and pointless.

Saturday morning might have been worse. The title of the address was "Please Don't Save the World," and it was supposed to be based on Philippians 2:1-11. Once again, there was great potential, but rather than saying that only Christ can change hearts for eternity, he said that we cannot really do anything. How is that encouraging or inspiring? I might as well stay in college if that is the case.

Lift up Jesus. Show us that he is the one who will bring about justice. "He will not falter or be discouraged" (Isaiah 42:4). There is glorious hope awaiting us. That is motivational.

One day every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord (Philippians 2:10-11), and until that day, we are to serve him faithfully with that hope in mind.